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1. Republicans

2. I’m learning all kinds of things to do when you’re broke

3. Shh—hear that?


Lydia Pendergrass never liked me, so I wasn’t surprised when I got blackballed at the Garden Club meeting. I didn’t take it personal, though, ’cause Lydia’s blackballed every new member candidate since she got in the club about three years ago. Just plain mean is my guess.

I figure if I rounded up all the rejects from that group I’d have plenty of people to start a club of our own, and we sure wouldn’t invite Lydia to be a part of it.

I don’t exactly remember why I wanted to join that Karma City Garden Society, anyway, being not much of a gardener myself, but I’ve been learning all kinds of things to do when you’re broke. I’ve already tried (and given up on) the Democrats, the Republicans, tamale-making class, a meetup for discussion of Australian aborigine poetry, and the Saturday Lumber for Ladies program at the Diamond Hardware store. I think it was the demonstration of power tools at the lumber class that made me think peat moss and daffodil bulbs might be safer. If I’d known old Lydia was involved, I might have opted to stick with the chop saws.

John Hammond, who was giving the demonstration that day tried to talk me into staying.

“C’mon, Christy, you haven’t given it a chance. With just a few hours invested you could build a deck chair or a bird house, maybe even a cabinet for your den.”

“John,” I told him, “can you honestly believe I’d be any good at this? Besides, they want to sell me the wood and stuff, not donate it to some project of my choosing.”I could say that to him, because we’d been friends for a long time. He was a pretty good guy and he understood my situation better than anyone else.

“Well, if it’s just the money that bothers you, I can probably find you some nice scraps to use. You shouldn’t give up yet. Hell, even Cindy managed to make a reasonable picture frame.” He said that with a smile, even though I thought it was probably close to the truth. John’s wife Cindy is an even bigger klutz than I am, and she can at least afford to start with the tools and materials.

So, here I was with nothing to fill my time. At least I wouldn’t be spending my underfunded hours with Lydia Pendergrass.